Finley's birth story

In the last four weeks I've found myself going back to moments of my labor and feeling such a mix of emotion: grateful, frustrated, euphoric, weak.  Mostly I feel pretty happy about everything, especially when I think about the moment I met my awesome baby.

Sometimes things don't go according to plan, and that's just life. Finley's birth ended in a C-section, which was definitely not part of my plan, but it's an outcome that I'm happy with nevertheless.

My labor began at midnight on Friday night, April 22, 2011. My contractions were 4 to 10 minutes apart, but I was still able to get a little sleep in the wee hours of the morning. The next day was much the same, so I tried to relax, have lunch, go for a short walk with my mom to a park nearby, and talk to my baby. The contractions were more intense when I was walking, but less when I was laughing and distracted!

Finally, that night at about 2 a.m., my contractions got more regular (every 4 min. for more than an hour) and I took a cab to my midwife’s birthing center in Ansan, South Korea.  It was an unforgettable ride. I breathed slowly and remained completely calm through the swerving, screeching-to-a-halt, crazy driving that characterizes cab rides in Korea.

My midwife told me that I was in active labor (5 cm dilated and 80% effaced).  The next part of my labor – the more intense part – progressed through the night.  I used a combination of deep breathing and self-hypnosis I learned in a “Hynobirthing” class I took earlier in the year.

Sounds super cheesy, huh? When I first heard the word "hypnobirth" I pictured a shrink dangling a watch saying, "You're getting very sleepy...," but honestly, some of the techniques really worked for me.

Laboring

I visualized myself in forests, on the beach, and riding waves as I had contractions, and the entire night passed as though it were just one hour.  I was in my own world.  I got mega-doses of adrenaline after each contraction that shook my entire body.  I remember thinking it was pretty cool.  I was able to laugh and joke through the end stage of labor ("transition") during the minutes between contractions. Labor reminded me of a really, really intense workout. You know the highs you get from working out?  Multiply that by 20 and that's what it felt like for me. I dug it.   

At 8 a.m. the next morning, April 24, Easter, I was “complete” (10 cm, 100 percent effaced, and the baby was at the +1 station).  I was so ready to have my baby!  But instead of having the urge to push, which normally characterizes this stage of labor, my contractions stalled.  They slowed to 10 to 15 minutes apart and became less intense. It was as though someone had turned off a switch.

For 5 hours I tried to get things moving again – resting for an hour, dancing around the room, changing positions many times – but nothing changed. Maybe it was because I had already been in labor for more than 24 hours, maybe it was my baby's position, but I'll never really know why this happened.

So close but no cigar...

Frank breech presentation

If your labor stalls at this stage, you’re usually given oxytocic drugs (chemicals that increase contractions, such as Pitocin) and a time limit.  But Rosa, my midwife, didn't want to do that because my baby was in the “frank” breech presentation.  Rosa has a lot of experience delivering breech babies naturally and does not use oxytocic drugs for breech babies because of the distress it can cause to the baby.

(Natural breech delivery these days is very uncommon. In America, a study called the Term Breech Trial came out in the early 2000’s that found that C-section is a safer option for breech. This study is the basis for why most hospitals in the U.S. will not allow women to deliver naturally if their baby is breech.      
   However, this study has been highly criticized. The OBGYN society in Canada has reversed its position and is encouraging OBs to learn the skills of breech delivery so they can offer them to women. Many other countries such as France and Sweden routinely do natural breech deliveries and the stats are comparable to the safety of C-section births. 
   After a lot of research and consultation with several doctors, I made the decision to try to birth a breech baby naturally with an experienced midwife. To read more about breech, look here, here, and here.) 

Rosa calmly explained the situation to me and left it to me and Austin to make the decision, for which I am forever grateful.  Though it wasn’t really a yes or no decision at that point, her allowing us to state our decision gave me a sense of ownership over the decision to have surgery.

We already had the nearby hospital on call, so we got into Rosa’s car and drove there.  We were very calm at this point, the baby was fine, and I was feeling excited to see my baby and hopeful that the surgery would go well.  I was also very tired!  The hospital was quite small and I was the first foreigner to deliver there.  The doctors prepped me right away and I had the surgery in about 20 minutes from the moment we decided to transfer. 

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that I cannot get an epidural.  This was definitely the worst part of the day for me.  The doctor tried to place it three times unsuccessfully.  I’m still not completely clear of the medical reasons for this, but what I understand is that the area in the vertebrae where the epidural block is usually placed is too hard on my spine due to an injury I sustained years ago.  So I had general anesthetic.  Maybe it was just my medication level, or maybe it was the general anesthetic, but for me the pain immediately following my C-section was much, much worse than the hours of natural labor.

Austin wasn't allowed in the operating room (typical for Korean hospitals), but he held Finley immediately afterward, and when I woke up -- a little less than an hour after surgery -- Austin was right there with me.  He told me we had a son, and showed me Finley.  The first thing I remember is seeing Finley’s dark hair and thinking that he was beautiful and perfect.

Seeing Finley for the first time

Rooming-in with the baby

I stayed in the Korean hospital for three days. It was like hospitals in the 1970s in the US, both in terms of some of the medical practices and attitudes about babies.  The nursing staff wanted to take Finley and keep him in the nursery the whole time and formula feed him. (I refused and kept him with me).  One nurse made me feel guilty for wanting to exclusively breastfeed him – she told me he would be too hungry.  There was absolutely no education or training for me from the staff at the hospital.

On the other hand, the nurses were very kind to me (and very curious!).  They gave me seaweed soup and rice – the traditional post-partum recovery diet in Korea – three times a day. They spoke slowly so I would understand (no one at the hospital spoke English). And get this: my bill for major surgery and a three-day stay was 700,000 won, about $650 USD. 

Miyeok-guk (seaweed soup) & Korean hospital food

Finley's arm band, written in Korean

Coming home was very emotional.  I felt so grateful and happy to be home but also emotional and frustrated with my post-op limitations. As of writing this, I'm finally feeling like things are finally starting to settle in, at four weeks post birth.

Overall, I feel incredibly happy with my son's birth, though I'm still reeling from the surprise of the whole event.

My doula, Lisa Fincaryk

I highly recommend Lisa Fincaryk's services as a doula.  Not only is she an amazing doula, but she teaches childbirth classes, is a certified lactation consultant, also speaks Korean fluently.  Her website, Birthing in Korea, is full of helpful information.

Finley with my midwife, Rosa

If you're interested in having a natural delivery in Korea, I also highly recommend Rosa (김옥진) and her birthing clinic, OK Birth, in Ansan (Korean, English).