Well, the cat has been out of the bag for about two months now. We're expecting!
I'm at 20 weeks this week, the hallmark halfway point of pregnancy:
A few weeks ago I didn't so much look "with child" as "with sandwich." Or, as my Korean friend so delicately put it, "just a little fat." But now my stomach is growing and I'm actually starting to look pregnant.
Next Friday we'll go in for our big appointment when they do an ultrasound and measure the fetus and check out Li'l Ralphie's organs. No, Ralphie is not its name, it's just the term Austin ascribes to each and every child or small animal he comes across.
We've decided to wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl, which, for me, is MAJOR self-control. I mean,
I read the end of books first!
When Austin sees me doing this, he looks down his nose, over his spectacles, and declares that by doing so, I am "breaking an implicit contract with the author."
So why wait? I'll be surprised either way, right? Well, right. But Austin is all about waiting for the surprise of it all. And there is something cool about learning that fact about your baby when you have it. There's so much mystery around it all historically that I feel like I'm adhering to an ancient tradition or something. Besides, I know I'm having a boy. How do I know it? I
just do. I will see if I have to eat my words!
It's been interesting to hear Korean friends' takes on pregnancy and to learn of all the little funny traditions they have here about babies. Trust me, people don't hold back their opinions when you're pregnant! That holds true for whatever country someone is from, as far as I can tell.
Some of the ideas are just humorous.
For example, you have to avoid eating the skin when you eat chicken, or your child will be born with chicken skin. Ha! And if you crave potatoes or meat, you
must be having a boy. If you crave fruits and vegetables, then the delicate little thing in your womb must be female. Gag, right? Along those lines, you should only eat the most attractive looking piece of fruit, so that, of course, your baby will be pretty.
Then there are the myths that are somewhat more incorrect and I choose to ignore.
For example, I've heard that women shouldn't read for three months after giving birth because their eyes and minds are too delicate for that. I've heard that women should sit at home and not exercise, lest their baby get injured by all the movement. As far as I can tell from the Korean friends I've talked with so far, pregnant women are supposed to sit on the couch for 9 months, with their feet up and a warm blanket wrapped around their stomachs. No thanks!
One statistic that makes me blanche a little is that hospitals here have an average 45 percent C-section rate -- some individually are higher than 50 percent. In the States it's 30 percent, I think, which some say is too high. Here, each stage of birthing has a set time limit, and if you go past it, doctors advance your labor with medicine or the knife. Husbands are often not allowed in the delivery rooms in general -- much less for a C-section. This is changing quickly in Korea, though, and two of my friends said that their husbands did accompany them for their births.
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| seaweed soup | miyeok guk (미역국) |
Afterward, women often go to "recovery" hospitals following births. In what I've heard about them so far, these recovery centers seem like a type of monastic order for women, involving ungodly hot temperatures, bed rest, and
seaweed soup four times a day. Husbands have restricted hours. At others, holding the baby is restricted, especially for the father. Yikes!
Obviously, I'm choosing the facts that frighten, not the ones that are positive. I'm sure many of the traditions of the "recovery" period here are wonderful and helpful for women to regain their energy. I'm sure some places are totally open to husbands staying by their wives' or gfs' sides all week. I do like the focus here on the mother's health rather than just patting her on the back and sending her out the door as they do in the States. And seaweed does have an awful lot of iron in it!
There are also a lot of options here. My doc's name is Dr. Chung, and he operates a birthing center called Medi Flower. Actually, my doctor is great for his hands-off approach, in my opinion. He told us that he is there as an observer to make sure nothing goes wrong. He said I'll do the work and have the baby, and I won't likely need medical intervention. He's super supportive of home birth and natural birth, and is, as far as I know, the only home birth Obstetrician in Korea.
I knew I was going to like working with him when, during a previous ultrasound, he said to me (about the fetus), "Actually, it looks a lot like an alien right now." Doc, you read my mind!
Anyone who knows me well knows that me and my alien-parasite theory about pregnancy goes
waaay back. I told the doc that I imagined birthing a lot like that scene in the movie
Alien when the alien rips through the chest of the dude. He laughed and then he was like, "Well, actually, that's what a C-section is like." Ha!
I've gained a little less than 10 pounds so far. Hiking is getting harder. I'm slower. Rocks are tougher to climb up. My balance is off. Time for ... more hiking! But on even terrain! ;-)
